Category Archives: Personal

Art project.. bleh.

Oh wow. Who knew form 3 projects were really tough? Okay, fine, a form 3 perfectionist art student’s project was. My cousin’s a perfectionist, and he needed help with making his custom tissue box for his art project. He would have finished it the first time he asked for my help. That is, if he wasn’t such a perfectionist.

Every crooked line was no excuse to not make a new one.

I guess it’s okay because he sleeps over every alternate days in the week, but tonight, he’s got to finish it. It’s due on Thursday. He wanted to doze off by the time we’re halfway through the making the tissue box’s “tenunan”, the woven strips of paper to make a checked (black and white) pattern.

I would have taken pictures, but I think it’s not funny anymore. :P

So I pushed him until even I couldn’t handle the exhaustion anymore. It was nearly four in the morning when we finished the sides of the boxes. I said, “You can finish the top and the bottom on your own. I’m heading to bed.”

LOL. He couldn’t have agreed in a more enthusiastic tone. Imagine being sleepy and having an enthusiastic tone at the same time.

It’s like, “Yeay!zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..slobber.Whahuh?yeah…..”

Anyway. Off to bed for me, just feeling like letting it out. LOL.

So many things to do before the week ends, and it’s barely halfway through the week!

P.S.: I want to get rid of this hacking cough, it hurts, and it makes sleeping impossible.

P.P.S.: I’m sorry if you can’t understand a word in this post, and can’t really get the randomness of it all. Just.. too.. sleepy.



If you ask any of the people I’m close to, they will choose to say, among other things, that I have a bad temper. A few find this hard to believe, but I can get really ticked off by the tiniest things. I understand why, though. It’s because I only show this side to those I’m closest with. I can count these people in one hand, mind.I’m not the kind to throw tantrums, but I snap a lot.

My mom has brought this issue to my attention because she’s scared that I’ll end up with, I don’t know, was it high blood pressure? I really am not sure now what she had mentioned. She’s always worried because I snap at the smallest things too. Especially in the car.

My mom will also be able to tell if I’m angry just by a single ‘tsk’, or a tiny groan of someone being stupidly annoying. I also sometimes have colourful vocabulary, when the time calls for it. Sometimes I wonder why people don’t ask, “And you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

When I’m feeling less angry, I change some words to more friendly words, for example, “WHAT THE FUDGE?!” because I really want to keep it clean in front of the kids. *rolls eyes*

Sometimes people can tell I’m pissed when I’m really quiet. I talk a lot, so you can tell something is wrong when I’m not saying a word. But that is how I’m like with other people I’m close to, even my closest friends.

Anyway. I’m on this topic, because I just got really angry at someone I really care about for forgetting that I am on this end, chatting with him. Now, he’s not here, and I miss him badly.

I really need to get my temper in check.

A walk down memory lane

I keep boxes. In these boxes are things that I keep for memory’s sake. On them, I label the year they belong to.

Tonight, I took out the 2004 box, for no reason. I saw some pictures that didn’t belong in that year, but they all bring a rather dreary feeling they decide to call nostalgia.

My printer/photocopier/scanner has given up on me since eons ago, so I had to make full use of my camera, so excuse the quality of these pictures. (I didn’t even bother editing them in Photoshop.)

This is during sungkai with Izzah, but I don’t remember if this actually belongs in the 2004 box.

I know this is definitely not 2004. It’s 2003, from left, that’s Pram, me, and Daniel. I lost contact with these two, and I’m sorry it had to happen because they were really great guys. They were in my Biology class, back in Maktab Duli.

When I was browsing through the photos, I just had to put this one up! CLASSIC! When was this, I don’t remember! From left, Izzah, Tiq, and myself. What I remember is that this was taken in a shop at The Mall. The shop is now closed, I think they didn’t do quite well.

Liz and I. Taken during on the Raya family outings. (I remember posting this on one of my old blogs, and I remember those earrings! I wonder where they’ve gone?)

And this.. is my favourite. (How can it not be?)

That was dad keeping a lookout for my little sister. He once used to study in Preston, Lancashire, and we decide to have a roadtrip to London. This was on Trafalgar Square, back in ’97!

Aww, looking at the last picture reminds me that my family and I always meant to go back and visit the UK on holiday. We fantasized on having the fish and chips, and maybe drop by Preston and see how much it has changed.. Now that dad’s gone.. they’re all just plans.


I have gained weight. Okay, no, that’s just saying it in a nice way. I AM GETTING FAT. Like, seriously. Not in a way that I’m being insecure or anything. I have increased in volume! Or mass? No, I think it’s volume. Anyway. I had a bit of a hard time to zip up the kain of my baju kurong for the past three days.

Yea, baju kurong for the scheduled events for my cousin’s wedding. His bersanding ceremony was today — lost track of time, it might have already been noon — and it was mighty hot! I don’t sweat in the normal heat that we get in Brunei, but today, I was sweating profusely! The lining of my top ended up sticking to my skin. Bleurgh. Not a comfortable feeling, I can tell you that.

Saw a couple of my friends, Salwana, who was related to the bride (we’re now related through marriage!), Ratz, and Dhil’s parents (Dhil, wanted to tegur and say hi to your mom, but she was busy talking to someone.)

I have pictures, but I left my camera downstairs and I’m too knackered to even get off this chair. Yes, I’m not even planning on walking to bed to take a short nap because I’m that tired. I think it was the heat that did it, really. I could’ve handled the exhaustion well without it. Maybe with a little cool breeze and some clouds. But these two were missing in action. Pfft.

I’m off, I will post the pictures soon. (And abang Muhaimin, the groom, looked so happy today! :))

Also, CONGRATULATIONS TO THE COUPLE!! (Semoga berkekalan hingga ke anak cucu!)

(On a very different note, if you’re interested, have a listen to Feelings Show by Colbie Caillat. I’m loving the “Love is crazy, pretty baby. Take it real slow.” bit. Nice. Go download. [Or, ahem, buy her album.])


Before I start the post, I would like to convey my deepest condolences to Izzah, Ka Zian and Ka Ety, for their recent loss of their beloved aunt who passed away yesterday. Keep your chins up, she is in a better place, inshaAllah. Al-Fatihah.


I wanted to update yesterday, but my hands were a tad busy since my cousin’s bride is having a berbedak ceremony after my outing with the girls. (Tonight is his turn, by the way.)

Hamizah, Yusrina, Zawanah, and I, had lunch at Fusion, at The Mall in Gadong, and it was quite good. Not a good idea if you’re on a tight budget, but its serving proportion is quite satisfying for such a price. I had the stuffed chicken with mashed potatoes. And the drinks! The glasses they used were large. I had expected a small amount of apple tea, like how they serve drinks in Sanur. Seriously. I don’t know if Sanur had changed their set of drinking glasses, but I hope they have! (Compared to Fusion’s, Sanur’s glasses are of minuscule proportions!)

Then we met up with Amal, Tiq, Ratna, and their guy cousin (whose name I had forgotten) to watch My Wife Is A Gangster 3. That movie was FUN-NEE! It was slapstick, it was sarcastic, it was.. I don’t know, everything that rhymes with stick? I loved it, though I missed some parts because of a toilet break and all, and sometimes the subtitles skip and whatnot.

Go watch it, if you’ve watched everything else at the movies, or you just don’t want to watch them. I mean, for me, I definitely do NOT want to watch Love Is Cinta. Heart was enough to make me cry, and not in a very-tear-jerking-movie way, it’s in a horrid I-am-bored-to-tears way.

Had fun, as always, it kind of feels that the group is back together, as most of the girls are done with their degrees and they’re back for good. Congratulations to the new Biology and Combined Science teacher, Miss Yusrina! :D The rest of us is waiting for that big belanja in December! *cough*BONUS*cough* Teehee. And good luck to Miss Saleha for her quest to continue on her studies! You can do it! :)

Anyway, I’ll sign off with a big, colossal hug for Miss Izzah, who was missing from all the things happening. Feel better, sweetheart. *HUGS*

Sorry. Some might be annoyed by online/virtual hugs, but for a person like me, who’s been (and still is!) in a long-distance relationship for more than 3-4 years, I depend on virtual hugs. And I like giving them too. I’m not a hugger in real life, so virtual hugs are, [bimbo mode] like, the next best thing. [/bimbo mode] :D

Nothing like it

Sigh. Just one of the times when I miss my dad. So prepare yourselves. I can either annoy you or reduce you to tears. :P

I always miss my dad, that’s just natural, but the sad thing here is: he is slowly fading in my memory.

Not in a sense that he is not remembered, but his characteristics. How he laughed. the way he talked, his smile when he was up to no good.. things like that. The smallest things that I always miss, and now, I can barely even remember them.

Every time I have time alone, I’d look through his pictures, re-live the memory, and try to remember how he was like. It still feels unreal. Unreal that he’s gone. Unreal that I still can’t get over it, though I have accepted it.

I really miss his laugh. He brightens people’s days up, let alone his family’s. He loved to share his riddles, especially in car rides home, and some of them would make no sense at all, he just wanted us to laugh after a long day at school/work. He was also always a mediator too, whenever I quarrel with my mom or my sister. There is only less than five occurrences when I had a disagreement with my dad, so I needed no mediators, as he would just give in.

One thing that has been in my mind is that.. I am really looking forward to the Singapore trip, but I am definitely going to miss my dad’s presence there. He always bought us nasi briyani from the restaurant located just a minute away from our hotel. Whenever he came back with a couple of bags of goodies, he would just sit down, watch TV and once in a while look at us devour the food as if we hadn’t eaten in ages.

He was the greatest dad I could have asked for. Not perfect, but he was just great. Now that he has left us for good, my mom has uncovered a few things to me that I hadn’t known when he was alive.. and I am thoroughly grateful to Allah for giving me such a great dad like him.

(Not going to share what the things were. :P)

Random thought: The boyfriend says that reading my blog is like looking in to my thoughts. Whaddya think? I think he’s somewhat close. ;)

All right, sad moment over. It’s time to get more Z’s now, and be excited for tomorrow’s outing with the girls! My Wife Is A Gangster 3, here we come!! :D

I can get really random

I just had the weirdest work experience ever. Having a stranger tell you that they have your picture on their phone is really weird.

Bordering freaky.

I may have to privatize this entry soon, COMMENT QUICKLY!

LOL. Kidding.

I just can’t sleep. Again.

Has anyone got really funny pictures or stories to share?

Or maybe save me from boredom?

These days, I have been dreaming of the days my family and I go for our (sometimes bi)annual Singapore trip. It would be really different without dad, but I cannot wait. It’s going to be in December, inshaAllah. If everything falls through. If not, I’m just going to have to wait until next year.

But I’m really craving for the days and nights spent shopping. The smell of new things that you’re trying to pack when you’re back in your hotel room. Not looking forward to the feet acting up, though. They always do. I WANT TO HAVE SURGERY TO FIX THEM! I haven’t gotten my feet checked by the doctors yet, but mom just reckons I need to lose weight.

Like, hello. (Allow me to be a bimbo at this hour.) I got my flat feet from dad, he had trouble walking long-distances too.

It’s not like I don’t like how my feet looks. Actually, I love how they look, it’s pretty dainty, and it fits into the sexiest of shoes! But they are literally a pain when I walk. Even in flats, walking around at The Mall in Gadong can be a pain. Imagine walking the whole length of Orchard Road in Singapore! I’d rather die.

Not really. But I’d try to find places to sit on while the others shop. And shop for me, while they’re at it. LOL.

I really shouldn’t think excessively. Whatever brain cells I have left have to be reserved for tomorrow. Three hours of sleep usually don’t cover the regeneration of lost brain cells. Whichever ones that regenerate. I really do not know much about anything, do I?

Whatever. I’m just going to lie down in bed and stare at the ceiling.