We Tuesday people

I just finished watching the movie-adaptation of Tuesdays With Morrie. It is one of my favourite books ever, it’s by Mitch Albom, and I thought I wouldn’t like the movie made out of it. One of the reasons why I didn’t catch it on Hallmark ages ago.

I was out DVD shopping and taking The Devil Wears Prada off the shelf, I saw Tuesdays With Morrie DVD. I’d asked if it was good quality, and the Joey Joe saleslady said yes. I always buy my DVDs from them and I trust them when they say it’s good quality or not. They always tell me the truth anyway, if it isn’t, they tell me it isn’t. Both the DVDs I bought were DVD5 (unsure of this, but it definitely wasn’t DVD9.)

I didn’t try it out at the shop as well, so I anticipated for the worst, but I’d made the right choice by trusting the saleslady. They were both very clear. Anyone who knows me very well knows that I hate watching movies that I can’t properly see or listen. Which is why I sometimes waste money watching movies in cinemas.

Whoa, okay. I have been steering off my point in this post.

Didn’t think of doing a review for Tuesdays With Morrie, but now that I’ve finished watching it, I fell in love with it. This is the second movie-adaptation that I love as much as I love the book. The first being A Walk To Remember by Nicholas Sparks. Back to the movie, Tuesdays With Morrie, I had cried as much as I had cried when I was reading the book. My heart filled with fuzzy warmth watching the emotions and the words exchanged between Mitch Albom and Morrie Schwartz as much as the book did.

I recommend anyone to watch this movie, and read the book. Whichever you plan to do first, it doesn’t matter. You’ll love the both of them.

It’s a pretty rave review for a movie made for television, but it is the perfect thing to watch with your family, by your own, or with your friends.

Now.. Jack Lemmon plays a great Morrie Schwartz. He is the exact same Morrie I had in my mind’s eye. He was sweet, he was wise, and he looked as if he knew what loving everyone and everything was like. What I loved about Morrie was that he really had a lot of profound things to say. A few quotes he had made were left out of the movie, but one of my favourites was in there. Well, it wasn’t how it was exactly in the book, but the way it was made for the screen was as touching as reading it in the book.

One of my favourite moments in the book was this (via iammyy)

“What I’m doing now,” he continued, his eyes still closed, “is detaching myself from the experience.”

Detaching yourself?

“Yes. Detaching myself. And this is important – not just for someone like me, who is dying, but for someone like you, who is perfectly healthy. Learn to detach.”

He opened his eyes. He exhaled. “You know what the Buddhists say? Don’t cling to things, because everything is impermanent.”

But wait, I said. Aren’t you always talking about experience life? All the good emotions, all the bad ones?

“Yes.”

Well, how can you do that if you’re detached?

“Ah. You’re thinking, Mitch. But detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you fully. That’s how you’re able to leave it.”

I’m lost.

“Take any emotion – love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions – if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them – you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.

“But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognise that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.'”

Morrie stopped and looked me over, perhaps to make sure I was getting this right.

“I know you think this is just about dying,” he said, “but it’s like I keep telling you. When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”

I thought about how often this was needed in everyday life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don’t let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship.

Morrie’s approach was exactly the opposite. Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won’t hurt you. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, “All right, it’s just fear, I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.”

Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely – but eventually be able to say, “All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I’m not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I’m going to experience them as well.”

“Detach,” Morrie said again.

I got that from iammyy because someone’s got my book at the moment. It’s a bit long, I know. But hey, I’m sharing something here.

Point being.. read it, and watch it. You won’t be sorry you did.

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3 responses to “We Tuesday people

  1. U shud watch the five people u meet in heaven. Adaptation of Mitch albom jua. N its siuk. Gives U that warm feeling :)

  2. I’ve read the book before Tuesdays With Morrie, but I haven’t got the chance to watch the adaptation yet. I loved the book, but not as much as Morrie’s lessons on life. Will try to get it on DVD, if I can find it. :)

  3. Pingback: And I keep wondering « together we’ll mend these hearts

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